STREAM WITH HART
STREAM WITH HART
serving as your new feed for living an empowered life
A For You Page reimagined
Welcome to my alternative to social media: no politics, no pressure, no sales pitches.
Simply a place to scroll content intentionally designed with ease, good energy and everyday empowerment in mind.
I will be sharing my own thoughts, experiences and insights along with a variety of resources that I find of value.
I’d love for you to follow along and make this space part of your routine. Bookmark the page, sign up for occasional notifications so you don’t miss what’s new, and feel free to connect with me directly anytime. This stream is here to support you.
May 2026 - April 2026 - March 2026 - February 2026 - January 2026 - December 2025 - November 2025 - October 2025 - September 2025 - From the Vault
5/28/2026
When Behavior Starts to Make Sense
This month on Stream with Hart, I intentionally walked through all 34 strengths, not to teach personality traits or put people into boxes, but to show what behavior language actually looks like in everyday life.
Because most frustration in relationships doesn’t come from people being wrong. It comes from people naturally approaching life differently and not realizing it.
One person needs time to think. Another talks things through out loud.
One jumps into action. Another carefully processes first.
One feels energized by possibilities. Another feels safer with predictability.
And without understanding the behavior behind it, it’s easy to label one another as difficult, annoying, controlling, lazy, emotional, scattered, insensitive or “too much.”
That’s why I wanted May to be more than information. I wanted it to feel relatable. Real situations. Real disconnects. Real examples of how strengths quietly shape communication, reactions, expectations, relationships, leadership, parenting and even the way we view ourselves.
The more I do this work, the more convinced I become that behavior actually makes sense when you have the right lens to see it through.
Different doesn’t mean wrong.
It often just means someone speaks a different behavior language.
If you’ve been following along this month, thank you for exploring this with me. And if you’re just now jumping in, May on Stream with Hart is waiting for you.
5/26/2026
The Context Strength & Behavior Language
Context is the strength that shows up at the very bottom of my personal process. I absolutely do not do well when I go backwards and do not find a lot of value from revisiting the past.
Here’s the cool thing about behavior language. I don’t have to go back and relive experiences to understand why it shows up where it does and that is true for all 34 strengths no matter where they land in our personal process. We don’t have to know why, we just need to honor it.
5/26/2026
The Includer Strength & Behavior Language
Some people just feel more comfortable when surrounded by a lot of people and this may be for a variety of reasons. But others couldn’t think of anything worse than being in a large crowd or having too many people involved. There is no right or wrong, there is just personal preference.
Where this gets us in trouble is when we judge one another when their preference is different than ours or when we assume others feel the same way we do.
When we understand our own behavior language we are aware of how the number of people we are around affects us. Does it light us up and give us energy, does it drain us and cause anxiety or are we somewhere in the middle and maybe it depends on the situation or group of people? Then we use this information to realize other’s may view it differently and have a different effect to help navigate what is going to work best for those involved.
Need help figuring out what that looks like? That’s what Clarity Consultations are for.
5/25/2026
The Developer Strength & Behavior Language
There is nothing quite so disheartening than watching someone not live up to their potential, especially for those who have the Developer strength high in their personal process. You see it so clearly, do everything you can to encourage them and want so badly to be a part of helping cultivate their growth. But no matter how hard we try, we cannot nor should we try to do things for someone else. In fact, the more we do for others, the more we are actually disempowering them which may get the exact opposite result you were hoping for.
What has helped me reduce my disappointment and honestly keep my heart protected is to think of using my Developer strength similarly to the gardening process. I plant a seed or two at a time, wait a bit then sprinkle a little water, wait a bit and shine some sunlight on it, wait a bit and check for a sprout, then repeat the process if the plant is starting to grow. If not, I walk away and realize those seeds aren’t meant to grow in that soil at that time. In other words, patience and avoiding overwhelm. If we put in too many seeds, kept dousing it with water and let in way too much sunlight at a time, there is no way we will get the outcome we were hoping for.
Much of the process is out of our hands, all we can do is nurture. But with relationships it is most important to nurture yourself first. What grows in you, spreads to others.
5/25/2026
The Consistency Strength & Behavior Language
Oh the disconnects, frustration, resentments and down right conflicts that can occur simply because we don’t go about the same thing the same way. When we are putting our process on someone else and assuming it works for them too it can create a lot of unnecessary anxiety. It’s not that we are doing anything wrong. We are just following what makes sense to us. But what makes sense to us, often does not for others. Simply realizing this and opening ourselves up to learning what works better for someone else can help tremendously.
But if we are not yet aware of our own process, what it entails and how it looks and works for us, we have no way to be aware of the differences in others.
As much as many of us want things to be the same and remain consistent across the board, there will always be differences to navigate, but different doesn’t mean wrong.
5/24/2026
The Input Strength & Behavior Language
Some people feel most comfortable when surrounded by stuff. And for some of those people stuff happens to be information. They can spend hours diving into something random, obscure or that has nothing to do with their life or growth. But it still fills them up. Being a resource to others helps them feel needed and appreciated. They also appreciate when they find resources when they are in need. This is not due to wanting to be a know it all. It is simply part of the make up of their personal process.
While others get very overwhelmed when too many things are around them or coming at them, including information. If something doesn’t pertain to them, they move on. They don’t carry the responsibility of being a go-to source for others. Some even have the thought why would I spend my time on something that I don’t even need, someone can do that for themselves. This is not due to being selfish. It is simply part of the make up of their personal process.
We all handle information and the idea of collecting differently. And different isn’t wrong.
5/23/2026
The Connectedness Strength & Behavior Language
Believing there is a link in all things including people can help weather the storms, walk through the rough patches and find hope that we are all in this together. There is a bigger picture most of us can’t see and a higher power many can’t explain, yet we hold onto knowing it exists. That is definitely true for those with the Connectedness strength high in their personal process. They tend to rely on a spiritual guide in all that they do and experience.
However, there are some that no matter what the circumstance, they view things and experience life in the here and now with a logical, practical and tangible approach. It is harder for them to tap into the unknown even though they may feel it at times.
No one is to say what is right or wrong in this line of thinking. It’s about finding respect for one another’s perspective by gaining an understanding of your own and one another’s behavior language.
When my son and daughter-in-law were buying their home they feel in love and were so excited. But the inspection came back showing too many things in disrepair. They knew it made sense to walk away even though they thought that was “the one”. To help with their disappointment I told them to borrow my Connectedness strength and hold onto the fact that it happened for a reason and there is a better house for them. Sure enough a couple weeks later one came on the market that fit their needs even more. It doesn’t always work out this way but mindset plays a huge role in how things play out in life.
5/23/2026
The Discipline Strength & Behavior Language
Being disciplined and having the Discipline strength high in your personal process are two different things. People can be very disciplined no matter where is falls for them when they are following and honoring their own way of doing things and don’t get off track by thinking they should or would be better off doing things the way someone else does instead. Discipline can show up best just by being ourselves authentically.
The Discipline strength is more about structures, schedules and being unwavering about following them. People who have this high in their personal process feel most on top of things when they feel organized.
When it shows up lower for people, that doesn’t mean they aren’t or can’t be “disciplined”. It just may mean that they are more free-flowing, strategic, routined, goal-oriented or what other strengths make up their personal process that explains their discipline related behavior language.
Two people can get to the same place by following different routes.
5/23/2026
The Responsibility Strength & Behavior Language
We often hear when it comes to responsibility the idea of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but I use the visual of holding your plate knowing whatever gets put on it needs to get eaten. Do you want to be stuffed and uncomfortable especially with foods you may not even enjoy? Or do you want to regulate how much of what gets consumed when? Would you let someone else be in charge of what gets put on your plate or would you keep adding more and more even if you were already full?
Responsibility is well-intentioned but needs to be managed so that it not only works for you but for those you are interacting with as well.
When people have the Responsibility strength lower in their personal process it doesn’t mean they don’t show up, aren’t dependable or reliable or avoid taking on responsibilities, it just means they are much more particular about their plate.
5/22/2026
The Maximizer Strength & Behavior Language
When there is a disconnect with the Maximizer strength, where it shows up in different people’s personal processes and how it is used and interpreted, it can inadvertently cause a lot of hurt due to the message that is often tied to it. But when we are aware of one another’s behavior language it can easily take away that hurt and clear the air simply by not taking someone’s use or interpretation of it personally.
I also feel like this can be a very complex strength. For example, it is high in my personal process but I use it more on myself than on others. I tend to look at where I am and focus on what needs to be done to make it better or get where I am not yet. I struggle with feeling satisfied, content and proud of how far I have come. But I don’t often do this with others. When I am dealing with people I tend to rely on my Empathy strength and step in their shoes seeing their improvement from that lens instead of a betterment one. And when other people’s Maximizer strength shows up in my life, I can go either way with it. Feel encouraged by their energy to keep striving for more or hear the message, “not enough” in some form or another.
How does this one show up in and affect your life and relationships?
5/22/2026
The Deliberative Strength & Behavior Language
I have to say in doing this work I was honestly surprised when I learned that the concept of overthinking, one that everyone seems to say is detrimental and is something to avoid, actually serves some people well. It is natural for them to scan for obstacles, weigh what could go wrong and maybe even view the world as a minefield so they are prepared for what might come and can put themselves in the best positions to avoid hazards at all costs. Because they have already deliberated over it, they are not caught as off guard and may even have a Plan B ready to go when things don’t go as planned.
They are much slower in making decisions which can drive others a bit crazy but they are also the ones whose decisions are typically pretty sound. The thing to be very mindful of is getting caught up in the notion of perfect. No matter how many times you go over something or how much time you spend on it before you take action, there are no guarantees it’s going to go the way you planned.
So honor this Deliberative strength but keep it in balance with the other behavior traits in your personal process so it doesn’t cause you to get stuck. Too much of a good thing, is no longer a good thing when not used in a good way.
And for those of you who this falls lower for, jump off that hamster wheel the minute you find yourself on it. You don’t belong there!
5/21/2026
The Learner Strength & Behavior Language
Funny how something that is referred to as a strength or a natural part of your personal process can actually be the thing that is holding you back and causing you to feel stuck. That is because we often aren’t aware enough of the role it plays in our life. We don’t fully understand what it means for us. We haven’t yet accepted it and maybe still even fight against it. It is managing us rather than us managing it and when we let it have control over us we most certainly don’t feel empowered by it.
That is where I come in as your personal process guide or behavior language translator. Because how many of us would realize that the desire to learn more is what is actually holding us back? Especially when we have been taught our whole lives that knowledge is power.
But any strength, not just the Learner strength can absolutely work against us when we don’t apply self intelligence to it.
5/19/2026
The Ideation Strength & Behavior Language
Oh the amount of ideas, especially business ideas that I have come up with but not pursued may drive some people crazy because they may view it as a waste of time since it didn’t go anywhere further than my head or brainstorming paper. But I view each and everyone as valuable. Each idea filled me up in some way. Sometimes just by exploring it and sometimes by the fact that it served me by guiding me in some way. Some taught me what path I don’t want to take after all before I got stuck in the throws of it and others were one step closer in what is meant for me to bring to fruition.
Some just enjoy letting their mind wander whether it serves a purpose, like creating new ideas or allows their thoughts space to breathe and gives them a chance to disconnect.
However, there are others who just don’t seem to have a creative bone in their body or are so structured even in their thoughts, they can’t just let their mind go. These people are your concrete thinkers or are the ones who can bring your idea to life for you if you don’t know how to put it into motion or struggle with sticking with it to see it through.
Where does it fall for you? Do you know and more importantly do you honor it?
5/20/2026
The Competition Strength & Behavior Language
When I go through people’s personal process with them, I find many get caught up in the name of each strength. But we go much further than the label and even the definition many attribute to it. We dive into what it actually means for you given I determine that meaning by not only where it shows up in your process but by what other strengths are around it. For example: when people see competition they often think winning and losing or the standard definition - a contest between rivals. But the Competition strength has more to do with source of motivation.
For those who have it high they enjoy comparing themselves (in what manner depends on where other behaviors are in their process) in order to get juice, drive, ambition or inspiration. The more they surround themselves by others who are reaching goals, hitting benchmarks or taking on new challenges, they more they find themselves doing the same. For them, comparison is anything but the thief of joy, it is needed to keep going.
But for those who have it much lower, that same comparison is often accompanied with the message “you are not enough”. When they compare themselves with others or are compared to others it does anything but motivate them, it deflates them instead.
Funny how the same action can have such elicit such a strong difference in people. - Welcome to the world of behavior language. These differences, when not understood can serve as unnecessary disconnects in both personal and professional relationships.
5/19/2026
The Significance Strength & Behavior Language
The tricky thing about the Influencing strengths is that they can often be misconstrued as self-centered. Such as wanting to be know for the contributions you are making. But what is often overlooked is that the Significance strength is about getting recognition for the impact made on others. If others don’t benefit in someway from what you are doing, there’s nothing to be recognized for. So yes, someone with Significance high likes to be known for their work, volunteering, creations etc… but ultimately it’s about how whatever they are pouring their heart and soul into is benefiting others in some way.
There are others who may do just as much work and bring just as much good to the world but are mortified when recognized, especially publicly for it. They prefer to stay behind the scenes and it is nothing more than that, a preference. But that preference typically serves as someone’s motivator which is why there are some people who take on impacting the world and others who stay focused on their world, both can make an impact, it’s just a matter of how widespread it may be.
For example, I always viewed my contribution to the world as producing three good humans by being the best mom I knew how to be. Now, everyone enjoys being appreciated but I didn’t need any kind of big recognition or to feel like I needed to take on more than that. That was enough to fill me up. Now, in the line of work I am in, the videos I post and with just publishing a book, many might think I am trying to be the next Mel Robbins but nothing could be further from the truth. I want my days to be filled with purposeful work, to make an impact on those I serve and nothing more. I don’t run at the “influencer” or “thought leader” speed, nor do I want to try.
We all have our own aspirations, it is about honoring them to the best of our ability.
5/17/2026
The Analytical Strength & Behavior Language
Just because someone needs more proof, doesn’t mean they don’t believe YOU. So many of us take it personally when someone needs more from us. When often it has nothing to do with us, who we are or our value or worth. It is simply a reflection of their personal process.
For those with the Analytical strength high, numbers often tell the story. They need proven data to back up claims, information and even emotion. They rely on facts, statistics and measurements to form their opinion, decide of an emotional response is warranted from them or to be able to make their decisions.
But when the Analytical strength is lower, people tend to use other factors to guide them and may not even like equating people to numbers or make judgments based on measurements.
As with all of these behaviors that make up our unique language, there is no right or wrong, good or bad with any, there is just knowing what works best for you, leaning into your preferences and honoring others even when they are different.
5/18/2026
The Belief Strength & Behavior Language
I often suggest to clients who have very strong beliefs to write them down. And then take it a step further and do the 7 Levels Deep exercise with them. If you aren’t sure what this looks like, we can discuss it on a Complimentary Conversation Call. But the point is many of us hang onto beliefs they may not even be ours or without really knowing why the are so important to us. All this does is gives us an opportunity to check in with ourselves once in awhile so we can continue to hang onto what is truly important and honor our strong convictions or realize it’s time to let something go or alter it in some way so it better aligns with us especially if we have been through some life changes or personal growth.
Now, for those who whose Belief strength shows up lower in their personal process, it doesn’t mean you don’t have values or things you believe in. It just means they may not be as prevalent in your life. I often describe people’s strength assessment results like characters in a movie. The ones at the top are your main characters or protagonists and help make the scene flow easy. The ones in the bottom can serve as the antagonists and cause stress, but the ones in the middle are the supporting roles, going in an out of scenes as needed but don’t run the show.
The good thing about having Belief lower in your personal process is you may tend to be more open minded and not quite so opinionated and possibly even stubborn.
It’s simply about how self-aware we are and sometimes it takes friends to help us see ourselves more clearly.
5/16/2026
The Command Strength & Behavior Language
As I work with organizations it is always surprising to me how few people have the Command strength high in their personal process. But it goes to show that you don’t have to be a take charge kind of person to be an effective leader. In fact, when it’s low in your process, stepping up in a way that is not authentic or using a voice that isn’t naturally yours will be anything but effective which is why it is so important to know your behavior language especially when leading others.
We all get caught up in trying to be something we aren’t because it’s something we think we should be but if you read the book you will know what shoulding leads to. This also pertains to the expectations we put on others as well. When we expect someone else to take command of a situation the way we would or think they should, that will also lead to a big mess, which is why it is equally important to learn one another’s behavior language as well.
At the end of the day, when we are acting in a way that is authentic while keeping room to grow in mind, the level of command we choose to take or not will land easier on others. But when we are forcing ourselves to be louder than we naturally are or are quieting ourselves down because we are afraid of how we will come off, things can get awkward in a hurry.
5/15/2026
The Adaptability Strength & Behavior Language
I often describe the Adaptability strength to clients by comparing it traveling down a river. You hit a rock so you hang out there for awhile. You come upon a tree branch and find your way through it. Sometimes you go fast, other times you need to get out and push. Sometimes you’re in the warm, bright sunshine, other times it’s raining and cold. One way or another you find your way moving as intended, not as forced. You go with the flow, welcome change and enjoy the moment you are in.
Schedules, structure and routine often feel restrictive.
But for those who have it low in their process, it doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the ride, they just need to know ahead of time what it may look like. Last minute changes can throw them for a loop.
As with all strengths, there are pros and cons to both. It is just a matter of knowing what fits you best so you don’t fight against yourself. Not being aware of your own process or behavior language is often at the crux of relationship disconnects because when you are trying to be something you are not, such as easygoing or planned out when you prefer the other, that angst within yourself comes through when trying to connect with others.
This is why I talk in my book about how the relationship with yourself is at the base of every other relationship and even interaction you have with others and even with things in life.
5/15/2026
The Harmony Strength & Behavior Language
Every strength requires balance. But I feel like there is a very fine line with the Harmony strength. When it’s high in your personal process you pick up on the energy of people around you, and may find yourself feeling very agitated when they are not getting along because you feel the tension inside of you. Therefore, you do whatever you can to minimize it. Sometimes this can be very helpful especially when others have asked for your help. But other times it can end up causing even more trouble by interfering or people pleasing in efforts to feel better.
Creating a peaceful environment is often top priority and some are willing to sacrifice themselves even when the peace they are creating is not authentic. But can end up turning into resentment. However, when fully understood and used effectively, people with Harmony high know how to nip conflict in the bud before it’s gets out of control.
On the flip side, those with it lower in their process don’t look for conflict, they just don’t need to avoid it. In fact, sometimes they even value a good debate or argument.
5/14/2026
The Strategic Strength & Behavior Language
A few weeks ago at the Coffee with Champions meetings I go to with the Troy Chamber we discussed the idea of poor planning versus effective planning. And of course with everyone’s responses I was assessing where the Strategic strength showed up for them based on their perspective.
For those with it high in their process, they were all about making sure a good plan was in place and for those who really thrive on it, that plan often looked different than the typical. You could see their faces light up when sharing what they came up with for various situations at play.
However, for those who have it lower, they were not as dazzled by the idea that everything needs to have a particular way thought out and followed. They prefer to see where things naturally went, or how they unfolded on their own.
One topic that kept being referred to was vacations. Do you like to have an itinerary in place when getting away so you know what’s planned, what you will be doing, where you will be eating, the kind of experiences you will be having? Or does your idea of vacation look more free, no agenda, just relaxing and doing or going to whatever at the time and discovering things by just wandering? I would imagine, just like in that meeting, these options illicit some type of response in you.
Taking it to the next level, how does it look for you when you are dealing with someone at work, at home or even on vacation who has the opposite preference? Does it cause annoyance, frustration, conflict or resentment? Simply learning one another’s behavior language can make all the difference going forward.
5/13/2026
The Communication Strength & Behavior Language
We all think that when something is going wrong or people aren’t understanding you, it’s a matter of communicating better. And of course that helps to an extent. But when you are speaking a different language it doesn't matter how much you say it, how loud you get or how slow you talk thinking that will help them understand and by understand that often just means agree.
True understanding goes much deeper than communication and that’s why no matter where the Communication strength falls in your personal process, you can easily speak a common behavior language that fosters connection through respect.
Even those who have the Communication strength high in their personal process and are typically very effective in talking things through, can still struggle with disconnect when not speaking the same language.
And for those who have it low in their process, I have a tip for you. Instead of putting your time, energy and shoulds into thinking you need to work on your struggles, just as we often spend more time trying to perfect our weaknesses rather than build up our strengths which usually just turns into even more frustration, attach it to one of your top strengths and use it through that one so it becomes easier more naturally. If you aren’t sure what I mean, reach out for a complimentary conversation call and we can discuss.
5/12/2026
The Intellection Strength & Behavior Language
Some people feel like they are drowning when swimming on the surface because they need depth to stay afloat. These are the people who may get very philosophical in conversations, who may travel down all kinds of rabbit holes, who like to ponder the meaning of life and who are forever peeling back the layers to get to the root of whatever interests them.
Often this interest is themselves. Not in a self-centered kind of way, but more in a self-intelligent way. They are my clients who are ready to dig in and learn everything they can about their personal process, behavior language and truly understand what’s behind how and why they do what they do.
This can be extremely helpful yet extremely detrimental if taken too far. Just as with every other strength we discuss, boundaries are imperative to use the Intellection strength effectively.
Now, if you are someone how prefers to keep the floaties on to prevent going too deep, then honor that! We don’t all need to think at the same level to get the results we are looking for or to get where we want to be in life. We all connect with ourselves and one another according to what works for us. They key is to understand that other ways work better for other people and that’s okay.
5/12/2026
The Self-Assurance Strength & Behavior Language
A client of mine has been very challenged by someone on his staff who rarely seeks guidance, always presents himself as if he already knows whatever it is they are talking about. And when he gets pressed it dawns on him that maybe he doesn’t have all the answers after all but still refrains from being open minded in terms of taking in someone else’s information.
He would rather be wrong and learn from his own mistakes (or just keeping making them over and over) than follow someone else’s lead.
Unfortunately I do not know the personal process of the staff member, just that it annoys my client. If Self-Assurance is high then it is natural for the staff member to honor his way of going about things. It serves him well to follow it even though it is bothersome to others. So in that case, the outcome is what needs to be addressed. If it is causing the team problems then the staff member may need to lean into some of his other strengths to balance out his “I’ve got it” mentality to prevent unwanted results in his job.
But if it towards the bottom of his personal process and he is being stubborn about doing things his way it could be out of lack of confidence and thinking that is the attitude he is supposed to present in order for others to trust him even though it is causing all kinds of stress for everyone.
This is why it is imperative to know your own process. It helps prevent trying to be like someone else or how you think you are supposed to behave instead of showing authentic confidence by following your own way of doing things with balance.
5/12/2026
The Individualization Strength & Behavior Language
Noticing and appreciating uniqueness doesn’t necessarily equate to placating or tiptoeing around each persons individual needs, desires, views, beliefs and demands. Unfortunately somewhere along the way we have lost sight of the gift of difference. We tend to see it as a divider when it can actually create beautiful balance.
If you are someone who naturally focuses on the special qualities of people, situations and projects you can easily bring together a well-rounded team to cover each need of the group.
But if this is not your forte, you are not lacking. You just address the group in a different way. Maybe you’re the one who focuses on the common good or desired outcome and you don’t get caught up in the details or nuances. For you, those might slow you down, derail your thoughts or interfere with the structure you have in place.
Where disconnect comes into play is not whether you see uniqueness or not, whether you play to it or not, it’s whether you judge others for how they see or don’t see it, if you get frustrated because others don’t value what you do or get resentful for not taking individuals into account the same way you would or wouldn’t. Expecting others to behave the way we would is not a representation of the Individualization strength coming up low, it’s not taking behavior language into account at all.
5/11/2026
The Focus Strength & Behavior Language
I don’t know if it is simply because of my personal process and how I view the world through it or due to the fact that I have intensely studied the 34 traits we all use but use differently, that I wish we would stop making our struggles our identities. There is a reason when you take the assessment it lists the traits from 1-34 in order of how well you do each one. But many of us have a really hard time with the fact that some show up at the bottom.
It’s not a report card. We are not meant to get all A’s in every one of them. I often tell clients, they all can’t fit on number 1 like many would like. There are behaviors we are not very natural at and that is okay. In fact, there are really good things that come from the traits that show up down low too which is something we always discuss in a Clarity Consultation.
So, having said all that. Maybe people who struggle with focusing do not have a disorder that they now claim as part of their identity but simply just have the Focus strength towards the bottom of their strengths list. Yes, having a hard time focusing can pose problems but that is true for every single one of the behavior traits when in the bottom. But we learn to become aware of it, understand what it means for us, accept how it affects our life, still embrace who we are despite it, work with it by learning how to manage it in our lives and in how it affects others and most importantly feel empowered by it by taking control of our mindset.
5/10/2026
The Futuristic Strength & Behavior Language
Do you need an LFT (look forward to) in your life to keep you going? Some people not only thrive but rely on their vision for what is to come to stay motivated and energized. If this is you, great! Honor it! And have fun planning and envisioning your future. But keep in mind, not everyone will share in your excitement and vision. When they don’t, it’s not that they don’t care, it just may be that looking ahead actually shuts them down.
They are the ones who absolutely dread the question in an interview, performance appraisal or even just getting to know someone, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” Ugh! That simple question can cause so much stress especially when you know someone is looking for a certain answer.
You may be someone who enjoys life as it comes. Experiences are your guide and things just unfold as they may. This might be because you have a high value for living in the present moment, are more about repeating the past or just don’t construct your life based on time.
Whether you are someone who has your future all planned out or you have no clue where you want to be headed, just know - the future looks bright especially when you are living life from your own process!
5/10/2026
The Activator Strength & Behavior Language
“Patience is a virtue” is something we often hear in the form of advice. We are told to slow down, be patient, thing things through, don’t act too rashly. But for some that is like asking them to lose all excitement in life. They thrive on quick action and learn best from doing. Trying to slow them down because someone else says it’s better will definitely cause disconnect, frustration, irritation and maybe even anger on both sides. This is where live and let live comes to mind.
Someone going through life at a different pace doesn’t mean they are doing it wrong.
And the same rings true for those who have Activator high and get annoyed with someone who doesn’t keep up with them. They are too slow, take forever to get going and weigh you down. Not on purpose, just because it is the speed that works for them.
I say it over and over because I learned myself the hard way, expecting others to live life the same way you do will always cause disappointment and possibly even resentment.
(I am making this one shorter for those ready to move on!)
5/9/2026
The Relator Strength & Behavior Language
I have not done the research to back up my claims and don’t know if it has always been this way or if it is new maybe due to the Covid lockdowns, the divisive political climate or people not engaging with one another in person as much since we are all on social media, but the Relator strength is showing up high in the majority of my client’s personal process.
I am also guessing that it is more about being selective as to who we let in, than creating deep meaningful relationships. What are your thoughts? Do you notice this in your life too?
There is nothing wrong with having a bit of a guard up and being mindful of who you let close to you. Who you trust with your inner most self and who you want to spend time and energy getting to know, as long as it is genuinely natural for you and not due to a skewed perception of people “these days”. One of the most prevalent ways these strengths or behavior traits can go wrong is when you are not being authentic to your own personal process, meaning where each one shows up in your assessment results. Forcing yourself to live life on someone else’s terms because if it works for them, it should work for you too will always leave you feeling off.
It is also worth noting when you are on the other side of someone who has Relator high it is very important not to take their potential closed off attitude or vetting process personally. It has nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with how they do things best for themselves. When you become more accustomed to behavior language it is much easier to notice someone else’s way. And noticing is the first step in respecting.
5/8/2026
The Positivity Strength & Behavior Language
Shouldn’t we all try to be more positive? The answer is yes, to an extent. But being positive is different that having the Positivity strength high in your personal process. Believe it or not always having an optimistic point of view can sometimes be a detriment especially if it is your natural way of going about life. No one should force being something they are not.
But what about growing? Are we all supposed to stay stagnant due to certain traits being natural and others not so much? The answer is no, to an extent. Growing doesn’t mean changing who we are, it means strengthening who we are. A daisy doesn’t grow into a lily. Its way of growing is by strengthening its stem and producing more daisy blooms.
Back to Positivity - sometimes it is very beneficial to see things through an optimistic lens, to bring lightness to a dark situation, to ease heaviness by looking on the bright side and encouraging others to do the same. However, people who only look though rose colored glasses often miss seeing red flags which is something we often discuss in Clarity Consultations.
Sometimes we need a realistic perspective and even to explore the pessimistic side of things to make solid decisions or connect with people on their level and that’s okay.
At the end of the day, the message is whether you are all rainbows and sunshine or not, sharing Positivity can sometimes help but be careful not to dismiss someone’s feelings by needing to feel uplifted yourself and realize it’s not personal, it’s just their process if they don’t subscribe to your happy outlook.
5/8/2026
The Woo Strength & Behavior Language
Winning others over is much more than just wanting to be liked. This strength sets a tone, breaks down barriers, creates comfort and brings an air of welcomeness when used authentically. People with Woo high in their personal process enjoy meeting new people and turning on the charm.
Think networking in everyday life, not just at awkward networking events where everyone is forced to chat. In the supermarket check out, at the park, in a coffee shop at work and with friends of friends. But done in a way that the other person enjoys, not the annoying person sitting next to you on a plane that won’t shut up because they naturally know how to read the room and pick up on social cues.
The thing to be mindful of though is to be careful not to place your sense of worth on how others respond to you and whether they are drawn to you or not. This can be a slippery slope for those who like making genuine connections.
On the flip side, others are not fussed one way or another if someone likes them or not. Going out of their way to make small talk creates an awkward exchange so better left to connect with others in the way that works for them rather than trying to be Prince Charming when that hat doesn’t fit.
5/7/2026
The Achiever Strength & Behavior Language
Achiever is a very complex strength representing many facets that are determined by the other behaviors in our own language. For example, for some it may mean they are very driven by goals. For others it simply means they value productivity in their day and yet for someone else it may represent being motivated by accomplishments. All lead back to the same idea but are often attained in different ways.
There are also a bunch of people who get stressed by the very word Achiever because they attach a sense of pressure to it that is simply not in their vocabulary. They are motivated and accomplish what they set out to with a completely different frame of mind.
So keep in mind, when you are following people who preach that setting goals is the key to success and unless you do so you will struggle getting anywhere, keep in mind, they are simply sharing the lens in which they see life and the behavior language in which they speak. It doesn’t mean it’s right.
It means we each will get where we want to be when we know what is in alignment for ourselves. Otherwise hard work that typically serves us well because we all need it in our lives, will just lead to burnout when we are going about it someone else’s way.
5/6/2026
The Restorative Strength & Behavior Language
The Restorative strength is typically all about fixing and problem solving. Depending on what other strengths are in someone’s personal process will determine what and how they go about fixing and problem solving so it shows up different for each person.
But one thing remains the same, in order to fix, they often get fixated. Meaning they tend to dwell on a problem, peeling back all the layers to it, learning everything they can about it and dissecting everything about it in order to come up with the best way to solve or fix it.
This often comes off as negative because people who don’t have the Restorative strength as high move on from problems much faster. They either come up with a good enough way to proceed or avoid it all together without spending time or energy on it.
As you can imagine this can cause annoyance and frustration in a relationship when it is not understood for what it it, just part of someone’s process and until behavior language is learned it can end up causing unnecessary break down in a relationship.
5/6/2026
The Arranger Strength & Behavior Language
You know how there are some people who always seem 10 steps ahead and you may struggle with keeping up with what they are seeing. They naturally turn chaos into calm even when there are seemingly a million different pieces that often can overwhelm others.
It’s like each dynamic is a puzzle piece that they easily put together. While others need more time, explanation, guidance, information or direction to grasp how a lot of moving parts can come together. And of course, there are some who just don’t see it at all, often feeling left behind especially when an Arranger’s thought process is not communicated.
There are a few ways the Arranger strength can cause disconnect which we explore together to better understand your own and one another’s behavior language. Just because our brains may not work like one another, doesn’t mean either are right or wrong.
It just means there’s more to learn.
5/5/2026
The Empathy Strength & Behavior Language
There is a big difference between being empathetic and the Empathy strength. Anyone, no matter where this strength falls in your personal process can be caring, kind and considerate. All the qualities generally thought of with being empathetic.
However, when one has the Empathy strength high, they most likely pick up on the energy of others and can feel their emotion as if it were their own. They take it on whether they want to or not.
There are many nuances to this that we explore together in a Clarity Consultation because it shows up differently for each person depending on what other strengths are around it.
Now, the same goes for those who have Empathy lower in their personal process.
This does not mean they are cold, unemotional or ill-equipped in some way. It simply means they may understand what is going on with someone else without feeling it themselves, without the burden of now carrying it themselves. They are often good at setting and keeping boundaries for themselves. Something those with it high may struggle with.
Every strength has it’s qualities to lean into and to be mindful of, no matter where it falls in your personal process, it’s just a matter of learning your behavior language in terms of using it to your benefit.
5/4/2026
Becoming More Self Aware
For a long time, I could easily tell you everything that was “wrong” with me.
I focused on what I struggled with, overthought, felt too deeply about, reacted strongly to, or wished I handled differently.
But when it came to recognizing my gifts?
That was much harder.
Not because they weren’t there, but because I had spent my whole life taking them for granted.
I assumed the way I naturally thought, connected dots, read situations, cared deeply, noticed patterns, analyzed people, or understood dynamics was just normal.
Doesn’t everyone do this?
It never occurred to me that what came naturally to me might actually be valuable because I was so busy comparing myself to the things that didn’t come naturally instead.
That’s one of the reasons taking the CliftonStrengths assessment impacted me so deeply. Not because it “told me who I was,” but because it gave me unbiased, objective language for patterns I had never fully recognized or appreciated in myself.
And even more importantly, it showed me that we all naturally go about life differently.
Different doesn’t mean wrong.
The right way of doing things isn’t becoming someone else.
It’s learning how to use your own personal process effectively through mindfulness, self-awareness, and understanding how your behavior impacts both you and the people around you.
That changed everything for me.
Learning Their Language, Without Losing Your Own
5/3/2026
One of the biggest reasons relationships become frustrating is because we assume other people should naturally think, respond, communicate, prioritize, or process life the same way we do.
And when they don’t?
We often label it as difficult, careless, controlling, emotional, insensitive, dramatic, lazy, scattered, negative, or “too much.”
But what if it’s actually behavior language?
For example, I am someone who immediately wants to talk everything out.
My boys don’t like to be pressed.
For years, I thought talking through stressful situations right away was the “healthy” or “right” way to handle things because that’s what helped me process. So when something was wrong, I wanted to ask questions, clear the air, understand what was going on, and work through it together.
The problem was… the more I pushed for conversation, the more overwhelmed and shut down they became.
At the time, I interpreted that as avoidance, not caring, or not wanting to communicate.
But looking back now through the lens of behavior language, I can see they simply processed differently than I did.
What felt productive and connecting to me felt emotionally pressuring to them.
Learning someone else’s behavior language doesn’t mean abandoning your own. It simply means learning how to approach theirs with more awareness and respect too.
So instead of repeatedly saying:
“We need to talk about this right now.”
It could have sounded more like:
“I know I process by talking things through sooner, but I also know you need time to think first. I’m here when you’re ready, but we do need to come back to the conversation.”
That approach still honors my need for communication and resolution…
without dismissing their need for space and internal processing first.
That’s the difference.
Not changing who you are.
Not expecting them to become who you are.
But learning how to meet somewhere in the middle with more understanding instead of frustration.
5/2/2026
Book Background
From just a little girl until this very day, I have always felt things deeply, been attuned to what’s going on around me and tried to make sense of it all.
I noticed the little nuances in people, the things that didn’t quite add up. The moments that felt off but no one talked about. I didn’t always have words for it, but I could feel it to the point where it even showed up physically.
And for years I thought I was overthinking, being dramatic, too sensitive and reading too much into what I was experiencing.
But over time, I finally started to realize, I wasn’t wrong. I was just noticing patterns I didn’t have the language for.
This book came from that place.
From wanting to understand why things felt frustrating, confusing, or like they just don’t make sense, especially in our relationships.
From realizing that so much of what we take personally, isn’t personal at all.
And from learning when we can finally make sense of how we and others naturally think, act and relate, things start to feel lighter.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why people behave the way they do, thinking life would be so much easier if they just followed what you feel is right or how you think they should do things, maybe you even question and get frustrated with yourself, I invite you to pick up my new book found on Amazon for an introduction to the behavior language insight and perspective.
5/1/2026
New Format For May
Over the month of May, I’m going to be slowing down and spending more time diving deeper into the individual behavior traits themselves through the lens of real life and what I often refer to as our behavior language.
Once you start recognizing the patterns behind why people think, respond, communicate, problem solve, process emotions, avoid conflict, seek connection, need space, jump ahead, hesitate, encourage, question, organize, or improvise the way they do, things begin to make a lot more sense.
Not just in others.
But in yourself too.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned through this work is that people are rarely trying to be difficult on purpose. Most of the tension we experience in relationships comes from misunderstanding behavior we would never naturally approach the same way ourselves.
This month, I’ll be sharing deeper insight into different strengths, how they can show up in everyday interactions, where they can be helpful, where they can create friction, and why two people can experience the exact same situation completely differently.
Think of it as bonus conversation around the ideas in my book, the conversations I have with clients every day, and the things many of us think but don’t always know how to explain.
The goal isn’t labeling people.
It’s understanding them better.
Including ourselves.